Giving and Ghosts From the Now

If you want to develop self-love, my previous blog Self Love and Ghosts from the Past is a fun and effortless way to absorb this very important message.

 

Bah Humbug Part 2

I had just woke from a dream featuring the ghost of a much younger me. It seemed I was jolted out of the first dream as quickly as I slid right into its continuation.  

Appreciate Yourself note

… With that the girl was gone, my husband was still in his chair, which was no longer vibrating and Ebenezer Scrooge was looking quite pale. I reflected for a moment on this dream or vision I had, feeling something new. Feeling a glow of self-love that was stronger than I had ever felt before and I thought isn’t this the best Christmas gift ever?

Smiling, I looked back over to my left and now saw my twin, an identical version of me at my current age. I thought, this is so cool. I had always wanted a twin! Of course that was mostly in high school so she could take the classes I didn’t want to. (Yes, I imagined her liking all the classes I didn’t.)

“Hey” I said. “Look at us. We are doing great, aren’t we?”

“No,” she said quite seriously.

Already I was liking the younger version of me a lot better.

I ran through the check list of all that I had to be grateful for. Wonderful husband, great family, fantastic friends, nice home…

“It’s not about you or us. It’s about them.”

With that, she took my hand and I was able to see into homes. Some were homes of people I knew. Some were homes of people I have yet to meet. Each of these homes had one thing in common. There were people in pain inside those home. They were locked in the vicious circle of negative thoughts creating a negative life and didn’t know how to get out.

Immediately I started defending myself. “I try to set a good example. I try to deliver the message of how important it is to transform your thoughts.”

“Are you doing all you can?”

I didn’t answer and that in itself was the answer.

“Why not?” I demanded of myself.

“What do I have to say that is so unique? It’s all been said before, so how am I supposed to make such a big difference?”

Giving Hands

Her answer was simple. “You make a difference by giving. The more you give, the greater the difference you make. Never doubt yourself. Instead, think about why we need to do more and give more. There are others who need us, and let that will give you courage. You are braver than you know and smarter than you think. If you ever hear the voice of doubt, always remember how much they need us and just shout at that stupid old voice, “Bah Humbug!”

Awake once more, I looked over at my husband, still sleeping in the massage chair, and thought, “I don’t remember drinking that much eggnog.”

Then I reflected on the message the dream delivered to me. I knew that if I looked at the past with loving memories and had forgiven myself and others, I would be free of the doubt and regret that could come to mind too often, distracting me from the wonderful present that I truly was grateful for. I also knew now, that when I was giving to others, I felt good and stayed in the now. This increased my appreciation for all I had and feel deep gratitude for what I was experiencing in the moment.

If I could stop worrying about the future, I knew I would feel the freedom of enjoying and basking in every glorious moment of every day. When I fell back asleep with that on my mind, I learned so much about confidence and trusting in the future when I was visited by my Ghost of the Future. Join my next blog to learn what happened in Dreamland.

Self-Love and Ghosts From the Past

It was Christmas Eve and my husband and I do what all fun loving, party animals do on Christmas Eve. We visited with friends, then came home by 9:00 pm and plopped down in front of the television.

It wasn’t long before I heard my husband’s soft snore and the old holiday classic, A Christmas Carol, began to air. There are many adaptations of this movie and that night, the 1957 black and white rendition featuring Alastair Sim was showing. Now these old movies can be extraordinary in their cheesiness, and this film was no different. If you are in the right mood, there is humor that can be found in how campy this movie is.

christmas-carol-movie ghost

You have the serious voice of the man who is narrating, “Ebenezer Scrooge was a miserly man indeed,” and that old school soundtrack that where you hear the choir of violins escalating in pitch to indicate trouble was brewing. This movie is an all-natural cure for insomnia that is more effective than watching the golf channel.

Now have you ever had a dream that was so real, that you were later sure that it must have been?

As I was sitting there watching, I sensed another person was in the room with my husband and I. I turned to the left and looked at the love seat that was between the sofa I was on and the recliner my husband was in and there before me, I had my own Jacob Marley. Only I wasn’t afraid because my ghost wasn’t old and decrepit like Jacob Marley. My ghost was adorable. She was a younger, five year old version of me.

I was really excited. It felt like I had discovered a long lost friend and I was overwhelmed with joy. I went to her, dropped to one knee and took her in my arms and for a minute or two, I just held her. She had a warm welcome smile and all the innocence of youth about her. I had not realized how much I missed her.
“It’s been too long,” the little voice said to me. “Let’s sit and reminisce.”

We took a seat and she had a photo album in her hand. We were both smiling when she opened the first page. There swingwas a picture of me sitting in a swing on the playground by my house in Pennsylvania. I was probably about 4 years old and I was fast asleep in the swing. I remembered begging my mom to push me a little more, and a little more. She pushed that swing until I had fallen asleep then took the picture. This memory made me feel safe and warm.

 

The next picture was of my fifth birthday party. My mother had made a tiger cake for me and all my friends were there as I was blowing out the candles. I was in my Mary Poppins dress and I remembered feeling very loved.

When we turned the page once more, my smile started to fade. It was my school picture from when I was eight years old. I had gone to a private school that year and although I was what one would call a “major goodie two shoes to the extreme”, one day during this school year, I had been called into the dean’s office and told I was no better than a common harlot because the skirt I was wearing was more than one inch above my knee.Little Cassi with Shadow

“This is when I first started to believe that there was something wrong with me,” I said flatly.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that and I want to thank you so very much for experiencing that,” said the younger version of me. I looked at her quizzically and she continued. “You see, the reason that felt so uncomfortable and wrong to you is not because you were wrong. You just picked out a cute skirt with no thought of boys at all. What was wrong was the man. He may have devoted his life to God, but he was just a man and he was wrong. Because you allowed us to experience that, we learned that you can’t blindly believe or follow what another says, and trust me, that saved us from many mistakes that would not have been good for us at all.

I felt a little better as she turned another page and revealed a picture of me as a cheerleader in high school. This once more brought up conflicting feelings. I was next to another cheerleader, a girl that threatened to beat me up in eighth grade because she thought her boyfriend liked me. At the time, being bullied seemed like further proof that there was a problem with me so while I try to hold onto the good memories, the feelings that came up from that time period were not good.

cheerleaders

A sweet voice broke through my thoughts. “Thank you so very much for allowing us to go through that. We were part of the popular group but I know how alone you always. You never felt like you fit in and I was there to feel how painful that was. Yet it is because of this that you became a leader, thinking on your own and making your own choices. We would have become one of the crowd otherwise, giving in to peer pressure.

She flipped the page once more, showing me a picture of me getting married. I just started laughing. We both did. It could be easy to look at that as a big mistake and something to regret. Especially if you knew how all that turned out. Yet I have my son, who I adore with all my heart. It was easy to look at that “mistake”, my first wedding, as a blessing.

Five year old me looked up at me with bright shining eyes and whispered, “thank you. All the things you have gone through. All the choices you may sometime wish you had not made, they all allowed us to become who we are. You have been braver than you know and smarter than you think. If you ever feel the tug of regret, always remember how much I love and appreciate you and just shout at that stupid old feeling, “Bah Humbug!”

With that the little girl was gone, my husband was still in his chair, which was no longer vibrating and Ebenezer Scrooge was looking quite pale. I reflected for a moment on this dream or vision I had, feeling something new. Feeling a glow of self-love that was stronger than I had ever felt before and I thought isn’t this the best Christmas gift ever?
As I awoke, I felt truly awakened. I realized that the way I thought about my past created my beliefs about myself, my value and my worthiness. I also realized that if I would look back and find the golden nugget in each of the memories that made me currently feel bad about myself, I could use those memories to make me feel good about myself and all I have accomplished. I also realized the importance of forgiving others, and especially myself.

I did fall back asleep and met the ghost of Cassi present and the ghost of Cassi future, and I will share what those dreams taught me in my next blog.

How to Be More Successful through Gratitude – The 5 Principles of Prosperity: Principle Two ~

If you wish to learn how to be successful, how to be wealthy or how to prosper, you will need to immerse yourself in gratitude and the continual practice of it. This is the second step in The 5 Principles of Prosperity.

Wallace Wattles Gratitude Quote

In the epic book on riches, The Science of Getting Rich, Wallace D. Wattles also feels the second step to being able to get anything you want is by entertaining a lively and sincere gratitude for the blessings bestowed upon you. This book is still a bestseller for a reason. He is right. He speaks of having a constant feeling of gratitude or what I call “living in a state of gratitude.”

FACT: Everything is energy.

  • All “matter” as science calls it, is created from energy and takes on different sizes, shapes, and colors.
  • All energy vibrates at a particular rate or frequency.
  • We as people vibrate at a particular frequency.
  • Our emotions vibrate at different frequencies and will affect the frequency at which our physical beings vibrate.
  • Wealth and poverty both vibrate at much different frequencies with poverty being a low vibration and wealth projecting a much higher vibrational rate.
  • When it comes to vibrational frequencies, you will attract that which vibrates at the same frequency as your emotional state.

 

This is why it is imperative for you to practice maintaining emotions that will allow you to vibrate at the highest frequencies if you are to have the superpower of manifesting an extraordinary life. Gratitude, love and compassion are among the feelings you can place your thoughts on that will raise you to the highest levels of attraction.

Frequency of Emotional Vibrations Chart

  • Set your phone to alert you every hour. When you hear the reminder write down something you are grateful for or think of someone you love.
  • Keep pictures of those you love around you at work and at home.
  • Volunteer
  • Assume the best in people, especially when they are a stranger and do things like cut you off on the road. You never know what they are going through and don’t let rude behavior, whether on purpose or not, be a buzz kill.
  • Count your blessings. Seriously…

While I lay out the steps to getting all you want in life in The 5 Principles of Prosperity, the key is to maintain these feelings of gratitude, love, and compassion all day. It’s great to wake up with gratitude and go to bed with gratitude, yet it will be so much more effective when you LIVE in gratitude.

Gratitude stone pile

Seize the Play!

A friend of mine sent over an excerpt from a book that told me something I already knew. Yet there was that, “I KNOW, RIGHT?” thought screaming in my mind as I read it, and a, “Thank You!” to the person who put it out there, validating what I knew to be true.

I ask about success you say play

Play is good for you!

I don’t mean competitive sports like tennis, football or even golf, where you are keeping score. I am referring to the kind of play you engaged in as a child. When you didn’t care about the outcome of your art project, you just loved DOING it! You tried cartwheels, giggling in fits when you would fall to the grass. There was no failure except the failure to participate.

This is when we are truly connected to our soul and to the divine universe. When we let go of judging ourselves and the outcome of what we do. When we give in to the moment and tap into the joy in our hearts. When we release all fear of past or future and breathe in the now.

Getting into that playful spirit allows us a huge release. Letting go of anything except what you are doing now is like meditation for your soul. It will refresh you, enabling you to come back to situations and see them from a clearer perspective and achieve better outcomes. Most importantly, you have time to unite with your higher self, which will allow you to develop a greater self-love and appreciation for yourself.

This is one of the reasons why adult coloring books, play shops (rather than “workshops”), painting parties and other creative outlets have gained rapidly in popularity. These fun activities aren’t just for the creative types anymore as more “A” personality types are seeing how it actually increases their productivity to take a time out. My friend Lisa Tishman holds amazing art classes and is the author of a great meditative coloring and journaling experience that you will love! (Click on the picture to learn more.)

Lisa Tishman Color Book

 

I have always found this to be true, which is why you will often hear me say you have to “think like a kid to succeed like a rock star!”

 

Yes, I have tokens for Chucky Cheese, play cards for Boomers and tickets from both places. It’s been less than six months since I have ridden a carousel. But it has been almost a year since I have hit the playground. So if you pass a playground today and see a big kid with long blonde hair, honk and wave. I’ll wave back at ya!

Thank You For Being You – My Gratitude Project

As the year ends, many make resolutions for the coming year. Get in better shape, learn a language, spend more time with the family are just a few.

Another New Year tradition I have heard of is selecting a word to focus on and practice. One person told me their word was COURAGE. In a conversation with a friend, she revealed that ELEVATE was her word for the coming year. I love this idea, as I know that to fully absorb a lesson, characteristic or any habit of excellence, you must apply and practice it.

We aren’t born knowing how to walk, talk, write or any other skill. We learn, apply and practice. Yet as we get older, we are busy with what can feel like life’s demands and we look for shortcuts. And we get the results that come when you don’t put in the time to imprint what you learn. Which is why I have so many self-help programs on my shelves. It wasn’t until I took that Tony Robbin’s program, did all the exercises and CONTINUED to practice what I have learned, that I got the promised results.

You see, I love the idea of holding a word or intention in your focus for a prolonged period of time because I know it works.

Repeated action creates a habit. Habits create excellence.

young business woman holding her big trophy on white background

This year I will hold a focus word of GRATITUDE. We know how gratitude will raise our vibrational frequency, keeping our energy in a great state. We know it makes us happier and healthier. We know that when our energy is vibrating at a high frequency, we will attract other high frequency things. For these reasons I have chosen that as one of my focus words for 2016. Yet I don’t want to hold that gratitude in, so I intend to share it through what I am referring to as My Gratitude Project. Please feel free to join me.

Project Gratitude

During the year 2016, it is my intention to have GRATITUDE at the center of my focus. I will take time to appreciate the little things and immerse myself in gratitude for the bigger things as well. I will actively seek to see the reasons I have to be grateful every minute of every day.

It is also my intention to share my gratitude my acknowledging one person a day in public. Most days it will be on social media. Other days, when taking time away from electronics, I will publicly acknowledge my appreciation for another human being.

I am grateful that I have the opportunity to let another soul know how valuable and valued they are.

Today, I start with YOU. Although this may seem generic because it is in a post, if you are reading this, it is definitely written for YOU.

Thank You Card

Thank you so much… for all you are and all you have gone through. I know there were many times when it was not easy and even now, it may seem like it should be easier. You are doing great. Actually, you are doing better than great. You have overcome so much and are way stronger than you think you are. Look at all that you have learned and how much you have grown. You really are amazing and so many people need you in their lives. You make a difference with your words, with your actions and just because of the love in your heart. The world is better because you are in it, and I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being you.

The Heart-Mind Disconnect

There is something I see in my clients consistently that I call the heart-mind disconnect. This happens when your mind (brain, logical processing of information, where you decide what to think) believes one thing and your heart (soul, your connection to the universe, God and the source of all abundance and creation) believes another.

Heart Mind Disconnect

 

When I am speaking on confidence and self-love, I will ask the question, “How many of your truly believe you are amazing and beautiful? How many of you woke up and got totally stoked that you get to spend the day with YOU?”

 

Usually 90% or more of the room raises their hand. They are beautiful, they love themselves, waking up and getting a chance to hang out with their own bad self makes them very happy. Yet, Dove brand did the research and in a global study found only 2% of women will describe themselves as beautiful. Why the discrepancy?

 

Because while we know at a soul level that we truly are magnificent beings of light and love, when asked in the presence of a crowd of our peers where we are “expected” to know our value, we tap into our hearts and say what we know to be true. We rock. Yet when asked in a more “clinical or anonymous setting, we answer with our minds. We lack self-esteem and confidence.

 

Perhaps there are times when you feel you are red carpet ready with incredible value to offer the world. Other times you wonder why you bother with makeup at all and want to shrink. Be assured that until your heart and mind are congruent, this may be inconvenient, but it is quite normal.

 

AND… IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT!!!

 

The beliefs we have in our mind were put there early and have been reinforced our whole lives. It explains so much when you ask yourself why it can take a tremendous amount of strength to stay focused on the positive in life. When our heart says one thing and our mind says another, we feel “out of sorts” because we are!

 

It takes time and commitment to reinforce the new, better way of thinking that will make you happier, healthier and wealthier. When you are not wasting time with negative thoughts, you can use that time and energy to create the life you want. You are happier because you get better results much faster than ever before. You start manifesting with ease and grace. If you are willing to develop these habits of excellence, life as you know it will be changed forever and you will be living life on a whole new level. It is the key element of my Train Your Brain for Rock Star Success program and it will be the best training you have ever experienced. The habits of excellence you will develop will benefit you for the rest of your life, giving you all the skills you need to achieve effortless success.

 

Clearly I love this topic and I could go on about for hours. I am so passionate about showing others how they can live a life without limits. I also love giving practical ideas and solutions that you can apply right away.

 

If you start to doubt yourself or think negative thoughts about yourself, (I’m not beautiful, I am not smart, I’ll always mess things up) ask yourself three questions.

a) Why do I think that?

b) Am I sure it’s true?

c) So what?

 

a) Why do you think that?

What makes you think you are not smart? Maybe you can’t rewire the electrical on the house, yet I bet there are hundreds of other cool things you do know.

DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF WITH ANYONE ELSE!

b) Are you sure that it’s true?

Most of the negative things we hear about us are not true. When others do not treat us well, we wonder what WE did to deserve that behavior. This leads us to think there is something wrong with us. When parents tell us we cannot do something, we feel unlimited and when we are told we have limitations, it feels wrong and we start to think that we have something wrong with us. When people are just rude or say things about us that aren’t true, we wonder if they know something we don’t and doubt seeps in. Most of the time, it’s not true. And even if it is…

c) So what?

Maybe you always mess up cooking because you don’t really like cooking. So what? Maybe you did make a poor choice in your last relationship. So what? Perhaps when you gave your speech, you didn’t speak loud enough. So what?

Not perfect? So what, welcome to the real world.

Didn’t do as well as you wanted to? So what, next time you will do better through what you learned this time.

If you learn from things that did not work out the way you intended them to, YOU WIN!

Bottom line, believe the thing that makes you feel the best.

If your heart believes that you are awesome (and you are) believe it. Listen to no other internal or external voice. Entertain no other thoughts. Soon your mind will catch up and believe it too. After all, just as you feel better when you nourish your body with great food, you will feel better when you also select the thoughts that will nourish your mind and soul.

Gain Confidence by Getting Out Of Your Head

~Disassociation for Gaining Confidence~

Neuro linguistics, or the language of the mind, never ceases to fascinate me. We do have all the resources we need inside of us, and when you know how your mind works, you can map your way to the unlimited solutions and possibilities that lie within.

People believe in people

Being confident provides you with more opportunities because people believe in people who believe in themselves! Confidence makes you feel good too. There are many ways to become confident, yet the strategy I am going to share with you is powerful and can be used in so many different ways.

 

Nervousness and fear push confidence out. Just as turning on the light in a room causes the darkness to vanish, when we understand our less than supportive feelings, we can vanquish the fear and allow the confidence to shine brightly as well.

The reason we get nervous is that we are afraid that we will not do well, that people will laugh at us or reject our ideas and we are not sure we are capable or as capable as others are. WE TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY.

Today’s focus is on not taking it personally if you do not get the desired outcome.

Ever notice how it is easier to give others advice than to have a clear path for yourself? This happens in business and relationships. This is because we take things personally. When you do not get a desired outcome, you label it, and yourself, a failure. You cannot see that the only failure is when you don’t try and that you are always gaining and winning when you put effort towards a worthy goal.

parent-talking-to-child

Bring to mind your child. If you don’t have kids of your own, think of a niece or neighborhood child you are fond of. If that child came to you asking you for advice, you would look at the situation objectively, with no personal involvement other than wanting what is best for the little one. You would consider her situation, try to view it from all angles, come up with as many solutions as possible, find the best one, probably have a back-up plan or two to share with her, let her know that no matter what the outcome is that as long as she tries her best, she will gain valuable skills to make her better and better. This is logical thought process and without personal emotional attachment, our skills of reasoning are much more proficient.

Disassociation is brilliant in its simplicity. It works because you take yourself out of the equation, thus taking the emotion out of the equation.

1. Find a quiet spot where you can have a few minutes to yourself.

2. Bring to mind a situation that has you upset or nervous.

3. Close your eyes and imagine that situation. When you do, imagine it as if you are above the scene and looking down. See yourself as if you are watching a movie.

4. Notice what is going on as you see the situation play out in front of you, but no matter what someone says or does, or how things turn out, simply notice what is happening.

5. Now think of all the positive that is in this situation. What did you learn that you can use in the future? What possible solution could work in this situation? Explore all possibilities and assure the person in the movie you are watching (you) of all the good in the situation.

By not taking the situation personally, you will not label yourself a failure. You will instead do your best and recognize that you gained a lot. This is keep your self-esteem and confidence from eroding when things don’t seem to go your way. The more you deal with challenging situations in an effective and productive way, the more your confidence will soar.

soaring eagle 2

Teaching children to think this way is important, especially girls. In females, the amygdala, or area of the brain responsible for worrying is much more active than in males. When you introduce those interesting hormones on top of that, you have a recipe for high drama and taking everything personally. The long term damage can be staggering.

Practice this and share with your children. The best way to protect your kids is to teach them to protect themselves.

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