Is Kindness So Rare?

I am seeing a lot of posts on social media lately from people who are pointing out that they spent the day smiling at people in an effort to show kindness. Some write that they were polite in traffic, or that when an old lady needed help, they helped her. While I applaud this behavior and think it’s wonderful, it also saddens me to think that someone smiles at others so seldomly that it becomes noteworthy, or remarkable. When did these behaviors become so rare that it’s something that we share with pride and hashtag as if we just lost 20 pounds after months of effort? Should not these things be normal, everyday behavior?

Be kind whenever possible

I have yet to see a post where someone declared with pride that they put on deodorant or brushed their teeth. Unless, of course, they are kidding or have been very ill. Why? Because these are normal behaviors, at least for the majority. lol

I ask myself, why does it makes me happy that others are bringing the importance of simple kindness to the forefront of our awareness while I have never once given someone, aside from my son when he was 3, a pat on the back for having brushed their teeth or gotten dressed.

This leaves me with mixed feelings about personally posting about how amazing I feel because I decided to be a kind person today. Should I not be a kind person every day? Should smiling at people, helping the older woman at the gas station, or simply giving a stranger a kind word, be so rare that it’s post worthy? To me this is as normal as putting on clothes before I go outside. Should I start posting about that too?

Any of us can only speak for ourselves and from our own unique and beautiful perspective. For me, I have never found kindness rare. I smile at people all the time and they always smile back. I’ve always done my best to be kind to others and people have been overly generous with me. So many times I’ve been told that I live a charmed life. I’ve had unbelievably challenging obstacles and humongous opportunities for growth as I like to call them, yet I have lived a charmed life, because I believe that life is charmed.

If you want love

When I feel something is lacking in the world, it almost always means that the same thing is lacking in me. I have found the world is a reflection of what I am thinking and feeling.

When you think of kindness, what comes to mind ~ lack or abundance?

Confidence and Ghosts From the Future

I have been asked many times, “how can I become more confident?” Confidence makes you feel good about the future and reduces anxiety. Confidence is one of the most important accessories you can wear to attract success, prosperity and literally anything you want in life. If you want to know how to become more confident, this is an easy way to learn more. I have always had a high degree of confidence and it was bolstered during the third part of my Christmas Eve dream.

Bah Humbug Part 3

… Awake once more, I looked over at my husband, still sleeping in the massage chair, and thought, “I don’t remember drinking that much eggnog.”

Scrooge was still on the big screen TV in his black and white attire, calmer than he seemed last time I checked in on him. I felt calmer too. Calmer, but with more purpose than I had previously felt. I was braver than I knew and smarter than I thought. I started to think about Winnie the Pooh and the image of Pooh morphed into an older version of myself. I noticed that my skin had aged remarkably well and made a mental note to make an appointment for a facial to keep up the good work!

“Do I actually get to see into the future,” I asked myself?

“We will look at two versions of the future. It’s important to see that every choice will create a different version of your future.”

With that she took my hand and showed me a good life. My husband and I were still in love. I got to see my son once a year and every few years we would take vacations together. There was more I wanted to do, but what I had was better than many had it. I was content with this version of my future.

Until she showed me the second version of my life.sea of people I could vacation whenever I wanted, having an abundance of money. I had a vacation home in Vermont, so I could spend summers close to my son and his family. I had true freedom. Most of all, I got to see all the people that were changed by my words.  I was speaking on a large stage to a crowd of over 5,000 people, sharing thoughts and words that were changing their lives. I felt this was my purpose, to change lives. And I wanted to do it in a big way, just like I was seeing before me.

I was feeling the discord inside as I turn to my older and wiser self and stated, “But I’m not that good. How can I ever get good enough to change lives through my words?”habit

“You have given that speech over 1,000 times. That is why you are so good at it. Trust in your abilities. Practice until it becomes easy. This will give you the confidence you need to follow your true path.

You are braver than you know and smarter than you think. If you ever feel the claw of fear, always be confident in knowing that you can accomplish anything you set out to do and just shout at that stupid old feeling, “Bah Humbug!”

With that final awakening, I felt truly awakened. With a new sense of self-love, renewed courage and the key to confidence, I knew I couldn’t play small anymore.

I invite you to remember, you are braver than you know and smarter than you think. And if you ever feel the tug of regret, hear the voice of doubt or feel the claw of fear, please feel free to use my wakeup call, and just shout at that stupid old feeling, BAH HUMBUG.

And if you want to develop more confidence, engage in the 3 P’s! Plan, prepare and practice! More on that next week!

Giving and Ghosts From the Now

If you want to develop self-love, my previous blog Self Love and Ghosts from the Past is a fun and effortless way to absorb this very important message.

 

Bah Humbug Part 2

I had just woke from a dream featuring the ghost of a much younger me. It seemed I was jolted out of the first dream as quickly as I slid right into its continuation.  

Appreciate Yourself note

… With that the girl was gone, my husband was still in his chair, which was no longer vibrating and Ebenezer Scrooge was looking quite pale. I reflected for a moment on this dream or vision I had, feeling something new. Feeling a glow of self-love that was stronger than I had ever felt before and I thought isn’t this the best Christmas gift ever?

Smiling, I looked back over to my left and now saw my twin, an identical version of me at my current age. I thought, this is so cool. I had always wanted a twin! Of course that was mostly in high school so she could take the classes I didn’t want to. (Yes, I imagined her liking all the classes I didn’t.)

“Hey” I said. “Look at us. We are doing great, aren’t we?”

“No,” she said quite seriously.

Already I was liking the younger version of me a lot better.

I ran through the check list of all that I had to be grateful for. Wonderful husband, great family, fantastic friends, nice home…

“It’s not about you or us. It’s about them.”

With that, she took my hand and I was able to see into homes. Some were homes of people I knew. Some were homes of people I have yet to meet. Each of these homes had one thing in common. There were people in pain inside those home. They were locked in the vicious circle of negative thoughts creating a negative life and didn’t know how to get out.

Immediately I started defending myself. “I try to set a good example. I try to deliver the message of how important it is to transform your thoughts.”

“Are you doing all you can?”

I didn’t answer and that in itself was the answer.

“Why not?” I demanded of myself.

“What do I have to say that is so unique? It’s all been said before, so how am I supposed to make such a big difference?”

Giving Hands

Her answer was simple. “You make a difference by giving. The more you give, the greater the difference you make. Never doubt yourself. Instead, think about why we need to do more and give more. There are others who need us, and let that will give you courage. You are braver than you know and smarter than you think. If you ever hear the voice of doubt, always remember how much they need us and just shout at that stupid old voice, “Bah Humbug!”

Awake once more, I looked over at my husband, still sleeping in the massage chair, and thought, “I don’t remember drinking that much eggnog.”

Then I reflected on the message the dream delivered to me. I knew that if I looked at the past with loving memories and had forgiven myself and others, I would be free of the doubt and regret that could come to mind too often, distracting me from the wonderful present that I truly was grateful for. I also knew now, that when I was giving to others, I felt good and stayed in the now. This increased my appreciation for all I had and feel deep gratitude for what I was experiencing in the moment.

If I could stop worrying about the future, I knew I would feel the freedom of enjoying and basking in every glorious moment of every day. When I fell back asleep with that on my mind, I learned so much about confidence and trusting in the future when I was visited by my Ghost of the Future. Join my next blog to learn what happened in Dreamland.

Self-Love and Ghosts From the Past

It was Christmas Eve and my husband and I do what all fun loving, party animals do on Christmas Eve. We visited with friends, then came home by 9:00 pm and plopped down in front of the television.

It wasn’t long before I heard my husband’s soft snore and the old holiday classic, A Christmas Carol, began to air. There are many adaptations of this movie and that night, the 1957 black and white rendition featuring Alastair Sim was showing. Now these old movies can be extraordinary in their cheesiness, and this film was no different. If you are in the right mood, there is humor that can be found in how campy this movie is.

christmas-carol-movie ghost

You have the serious voice of the man who is narrating, “Ebenezer Scrooge was a miserly man indeed,” and that old school soundtrack that where you hear the choir of violins escalating in pitch to indicate trouble was brewing. This movie is an all-natural cure for insomnia that is more effective than watching the golf channel.

Now have you ever had a dream that was so real, that you were later sure that it must have been?

As I was sitting there watching, I sensed another person was in the room with my husband and I. I turned to the left and looked at the love seat that was between the sofa I was on and the recliner my husband was in and there before me, I had my own Jacob Marley. Only I wasn’t afraid because my ghost wasn’t old and decrepit like Jacob Marley. My ghost was adorable. She was a younger, five year old version of me.

I was really excited. It felt like I had discovered a long lost friend and I was overwhelmed with joy. I went to her, dropped to one knee and took her in my arms and for a minute or two, I just held her. She had a warm welcome smile and all the innocence of youth about her. I had not realized how much I missed her.
“It’s been too long,” the little voice said to me. “Let’s sit and reminisce.”

We took a seat and she had a photo album in her hand. We were both smiling when she opened the first page. There swingwas a picture of me sitting in a swing on the playground by my house in Pennsylvania. I was probably about 4 years old and I was fast asleep in the swing. I remembered begging my mom to push me a little more, and a little more. She pushed that swing until I had fallen asleep then took the picture. This memory made me feel safe and warm.

 

The next picture was of my fifth birthday party. My mother had made a tiger cake for me and all my friends were there as I was blowing out the candles. I was in my Mary Poppins dress and I remembered feeling very loved.

When we turned the page once more, my smile started to fade. It was my school picture from when I was eight years old. I had gone to a private school that year and although I was what one would call a “major goodie two shoes to the extreme”, one day during this school year, I had been called into the dean’s office and told I was no better than a common harlot because the skirt I was wearing was more than one inch above my knee.Little Cassi with Shadow

“This is when I first started to believe that there was something wrong with me,” I said flatly.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that and I want to thank you so very much for experiencing that,” said the younger version of me. I looked at her quizzically and she continued. “You see, the reason that felt so uncomfortable and wrong to you is not because you were wrong. You just picked out a cute skirt with no thought of boys at all. What was wrong was the man. He may have devoted his life to God, but he was just a man and he was wrong. Because you allowed us to experience that, we learned that you can’t blindly believe or follow what another says, and trust me, that saved us from many mistakes that would not have been good for us at all.

I felt a little better as she turned another page and revealed a picture of me as a cheerleader in high school. This once more brought up conflicting feelings. I was next to another cheerleader, a girl that threatened to beat me up in eighth grade because she thought her boyfriend liked me. At the time, being bullied seemed like further proof that there was a problem with me so while I try to hold onto the good memories, the feelings that came up from that time period were not good.

cheerleaders

A sweet voice broke through my thoughts. “Thank you so very much for allowing us to go through that. We were part of the popular group but I know how alone you always. You never felt like you fit in and I was there to feel how painful that was. Yet it is because of this that you became a leader, thinking on your own and making your own choices. We would have become one of the crowd otherwise, giving in to peer pressure.

She flipped the page once more, showing me a picture of me getting married. I just started laughing. We both did. It could be easy to look at that as a big mistake and something to regret. Especially if you knew how all that turned out. Yet I have my son, who I adore with all my heart. It was easy to look at that “mistake”, my first wedding, as a blessing.

Five year old me looked up at me with bright shining eyes and whispered, “thank you. All the things you have gone through. All the choices you may sometime wish you had not made, they all allowed us to become who we are. You have been braver than you know and smarter than you think. If you ever feel the tug of regret, always remember how much I love and appreciate you and just shout at that stupid old feeling, “Bah Humbug!”

With that the little girl was gone, my husband was still in his chair, which was no longer vibrating and Ebenezer Scrooge was looking quite pale. I reflected for a moment on this dream or vision I had, feeling something new. Feeling a glow of self-love that was stronger than I had ever felt before and I thought isn’t this the best Christmas gift ever?
As I awoke, I felt truly awakened. I realized that the way I thought about my past created my beliefs about myself, my value and my worthiness. I also realized that if I would look back and find the golden nugget in each of the memories that made me currently feel bad about myself, I could use those memories to make me feel good about myself and all I have accomplished. I also realized the importance of forgiving others, and especially myself.

I did fall back asleep and met the ghost of Cassi present and the ghost of Cassi future, and I will share what those dreams taught me in my next blog.

True Freedom Is In Your Mind

What is freedom? To me, it is the ability to do, have or be anything that you desire.

Freedom is having the ability

What is the most important thing in life? To feel good.

We feel good when we are growing as a human beings. It makes our hearts warm when we are able to assist another on their life’s journey through various ways of giving back. It feels great to be loved and feel connected to others as well as our highest self. When we feel good, our energy is vibrating at a higher frequency and we benefit everyone one and everything we come in contact with. We feel good when we feel free.

Let’s face it, to do have and be anything we desire, you must first believe you can.

It is important to keep in mind that your thoughts create your beliefs, your beliefs create your emotions, your emotions determine your actions and your actions will decide your outcome.

Thought Belief Emotion Action Result

This is a universal law that applies to all of us. Let’s say you have this deep desire to become a singer. If you are told that you are not good at singing and you start entertaining thoughts like, maybe they are right, I am not very good. I guess I just don’t have a talent for that. It is a gift and I just have to accept that people do not like the way I sing, then you will begin to believe you are not a good singer.

If you believe you are not a good singer you may feel emotions like embarrassment, discomfort or even panic at the thought of singing in front of others. If you feel that way, chances are great that you will not take the risk of feeling bad and you will not sing in front of others and the result will be a desire that you crushed and used the illogical logic of, “Well I guess that is just not what I was meant to do,” in order to feel better about giving up on a dream you know you were meant to go for.

DON’T BELIEVE THAT VOICE!

It was because of a little encouragement that I decided to follow my passion to sing and have recorded a CD as well as opened for national acts like Doobie Brothers, Kansas, Huey Lewis and the News and top musicians of their time. You see, I was told I had a talent for singing so I believed it. Because I believed it I got excited about the idea of singing and went for it. The video is a song I wrote as a result of the chain of thoughts that created this belief in myself and my ability.

Do expect to be great when you first start. That comes with practice, yet you must believe in your ability so you can see what you want in your future and you will want to reconcile your past so doubt will not slow you down.

And this is why it is vital that you develop the skill of selecting the thoughts that will bring you closer to your goals and all the abundance, prosperity, happiness and freedom that are rightfully yours.

Understanding how your beliefs work, how they are formed and how you can transform them into beliefs that will allow you to manifest the things you want into your life with ease and grace will give you an advantage is the first step to transforming your thoughts and transcending your life.

Then, when you work through each of the three areas of beliefs, those created from our past, our present and our ideas about the future, you will have the perfect mindset to imprint the habit of solution based thinking. Once you get good at that, you will be able to visualize an outrageously fantastic future and have the skills to bring it to fruition.

Living a life of bliss and having the freedom to do, have or be anything you want is your destiny.
Look for coming articles on how to develop this super power! I will link them as they are published.

Seize the Play!

A friend of mine sent over an excerpt from a book that told me something I already knew. Yet there was that, “I KNOW, RIGHT?” thought screaming in my mind as I read it, and a, “Thank You!” to the person who put it out there, validating what I knew to be true.

I ask about success you say play

Play is good for you!

I don’t mean competitive sports like tennis, football or even golf, where you are keeping score. I am referring to the kind of play you engaged in as a child. When you didn’t care about the outcome of your art project, you just loved DOING it! You tried cartwheels, giggling in fits when you would fall to the grass. There was no failure except the failure to participate.

This is when we are truly connected to our soul and to the divine universe. When we let go of judging ourselves and the outcome of what we do. When we give in to the moment and tap into the joy in our hearts. When we release all fear of past or future and breathe in the now.

Getting into that playful spirit allows us a huge release. Letting go of anything except what you are doing now is like meditation for your soul. It will refresh you, enabling you to come back to situations and see them from a clearer perspective and achieve better outcomes. Most importantly, you have time to unite with your higher self, which will allow you to develop a greater self-love and appreciation for yourself.

This is one of the reasons why adult coloring books, play shops (rather than “workshops”), painting parties and other creative outlets have gained rapidly in popularity. These fun activities aren’t just for the creative types anymore as more “A” personality types are seeing how it actually increases their productivity to take a time out. My friend Lisa Tishman holds amazing art classes and is the author of a great meditative coloring and journaling experience that you will love! (Click on the picture to learn more.)

Lisa Tishman Color Book

 

I have always found this to be true, which is why you will often hear me say you have to “think like a kid to succeed like a rock star!”

 

Yes, I have tokens for Chucky Cheese, play cards for Boomers and tickets from both places. It’s been less than six months since I have ridden a carousel. But it has been almost a year since I have hit the playground. So if you pass a playground today and see a big kid with long blonde hair, honk and wave. I’ll wave back at ya!

The Heart-Mind Disconnect

There is something I see in my clients consistently that I call the heart-mind disconnect. This happens when your mind (brain, logical processing of information, where you decide what to think) believes one thing and your heart (soul, your connection to the universe, God and the source of all abundance and creation) believes another.

Heart Mind Disconnect

 

When I am speaking on confidence and self-love, I will ask the question, “How many of your truly believe you are amazing and beautiful? How many of you woke up and got totally stoked that you get to spend the day with YOU?”

 

Usually 90% or more of the room raises their hand. They are beautiful, they love themselves, waking up and getting a chance to hang out with their own bad self makes them very happy. Yet, Dove brand did the research and in a global study found only 2% of women will describe themselves as beautiful. Why the discrepancy?

 

Because while we know at a soul level that we truly are magnificent beings of light and love, when asked in the presence of a crowd of our peers where we are “expected” to know our value, we tap into our hearts and say what we know to be true. We rock. Yet when asked in a more “clinical or anonymous setting, we answer with our minds. We lack self-esteem and confidence.

 

Perhaps there are times when you feel you are red carpet ready with incredible value to offer the world. Other times you wonder why you bother with makeup at all and want to shrink. Be assured that until your heart and mind are congruent, this may be inconvenient, but it is quite normal.

 

AND… IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT!!!

 

The beliefs we have in our mind were put there early and have been reinforced our whole lives. It explains so much when you ask yourself why it can take a tremendous amount of strength to stay focused on the positive in life. When our heart says one thing and our mind says another, we feel “out of sorts” because we are!

 

It takes time and commitment to reinforce the new, better way of thinking that will make you happier, healthier and wealthier. When you are not wasting time with negative thoughts, you can use that time and energy to create the life you want. You are happier because you get better results much faster than ever before. You start manifesting with ease and grace. If you are willing to develop these habits of excellence, life as you know it will be changed forever and you will be living life on a whole new level. It is the key element of my Train Your Brain for Rock Star Success program and it will be the best training you have ever experienced. The habits of excellence you will develop will benefit you for the rest of your life, giving you all the skills you need to achieve effortless success.

 

Clearly I love this topic and I could go on about for hours. I am so passionate about showing others how they can live a life without limits. I also love giving practical ideas and solutions that you can apply right away.

 

If you start to doubt yourself or think negative thoughts about yourself, (I’m not beautiful, I am not smart, I’ll always mess things up) ask yourself three questions.

a) Why do I think that?

b) Am I sure it’s true?

c) So what?

 

a) Why do you think that?

What makes you think you are not smart? Maybe you can’t rewire the electrical on the house, yet I bet there are hundreds of other cool things you do know.

DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF WITH ANYONE ELSE!

b) Are you sure that it’s true?

Most of the negative things we hear about us are not true. When others do not treat us well, we wonder what WE did to deserve that behavior. This leads us to think there is something wrong with us. When parents tell us we cannot do something, we feel unlimited and when we are told we have limitations, it feels wrong and we start to think that we have something wrong with us. When people are just rude or say things about us that aren’t true, we wonder if they know something we don’t and doubt seeps in. Most of the time, it’s not true. And even if it is…

c) So what?

Maybe you always mess up cooking because you don’t really like cooking. So what? Maybe you did make a poor choice in your last relationship. So what? Perhaps when you gave your speech, you didn’t speak loud enough. So what?

Not perfect? So what, welcome to the real world.

Didn’t do as well as you wanted to? So what, next time you will do better through what you learned this time.

If you learn from things that did not work out the way you intended them to, YOU WIN!

Bottom line, believe the thing that makes you feel the best.

If your heart believes that you are awesome (and you are) believe it. Listen to no other internal or external voice. Entertain no other thoughts. Soon your mind will catch up and believe it too. After all, just as you feel better when you nourish your body with great food, you will feel better when you also select the thoughts that will nourish your mind and soul.

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