Giving and Ghosts From the Now

If you want to develop self-love, my previous blog Self Love and Ghosts from the Past is a fun and effortless way to absorb this very important message.

 

Bah Humbug Part 2

I had just woke from a dream featuring the ghost of a much younger me. It seemed I was jolted out of the first dream as quickly as I slid right into its continuation.  

Appreciate Yourself note

… With that the girl was gone, my husband was still in his chair, which was no longer vibrating and Ebenezer Scrooge was looking quite pale. I reflected for a moment on this dream or vision I had, feeling something new. Feeling a glow of self-love that was stronger than I had ever felt before and I thought isn’t this the best Christmas gift ever?

Smiling, I looked back over to my left and now saw my twin, an identical version of me at my current age. I thought, this is so cool. I had always wanted a twin! Of course that was mostly in high school so she could take the classes I didn’t want to. (Yes, I imagined her liking all the classes I didn’t.)

“Hey” I said. “Look at us. We are doing great, aren’t we?”

“No,” she said quite seriously.

Already I was liking the younger version of me a lot better.

I ran through the check list of all that I had to be grateful for. Wonderful husband, great family, fantastic friends, nice home…

“It’s not about you or us. It’s about them.”

With that, she took my hand and I was able to see into homes. Some were homes of people I knew. Some were homes of people I have yet to meet. Each of these homes had one thing in common. There were people in pain inside those home. They were locked in the vicious circle of negative thoughts creating a negative life and didn’t know how to get out.

Immediately I started defending myself. “I try to set a good example. I try to deliver the message of how important it is to transform your thoughts.”

“Are you doing all you can?”

I didn’t answer and that in itself was the answer.

“Why not?” I demanded of myself.

“What do I have to say that is so unique? It’s all been said before, so how am I supposed to make such a big difference?”

Giving Hands

Her answer was simple. “You make a difference by giving. The more you give, the greater the difference you make. Never doubt yourself. Instead, think about why we need to do more and give more. There are others who need us, and let that will give you courage. You are braver than you know and smarter than you think. If you ever hear the voice of doubt, always remember how much they need us and just shout at that stupid old voice, “Bah Humbug!”

Awake once more, I looked over at my husband, still sleeping in the massage chair, and thought, “I don’t remember drinking that much eggnog.”

Then I reflected on the message the dream delivered to me. I knew that if I looked at the past with loving memories and had forgiven myself and others, I would be free of the doubt and regret that could come to mind too often, distracting me from the wonderful present that I truly was grateful for. I also knew now, that when I was giving to others, I felt good and stayed in the now. This increased my appreciation for all I had and feel deep gratitude for what I was experiencing in the moment.

If I could stop worrying about the future, I knew I would feel the freedom of enjoying and basking in every glorious moment of every day. When I fell back asleep with that on my mind, I learned so much about confidence and trusting in the future when I was visited by my Ghost of the Future. Join my next blog to learn what happened in Dreamland.

How Confident Are You?

Cassi Eubank
Confidence and Self-Esteem Diagnostic

Confidence and self-esteem are two of the most valuable assets you can have. Not only does it determine the degree of success you enjoy, the quality of your relationships, and how healthy you are, it also determines whether you will live a life worth living. I stress this because you are given so many gifts and opportunities in life and if you don’t have the confidence to go for it or the self-esteem that tells you that you deserve it, you will have been given an extraordinary life only to have settled for so much less than you are meant to have. It is your right, actually I will be so bold as to say your RESPONSIBILITY to live a fulfilling, meaningful life and not squander one precious moment of it. The great news is you CAN develop this skills that will allow you to create the life you deserve.

Take this 5 minute diagnostic to see where you are now and be sure to join our FREE community at http://on.fb.me/1KvF4Kk and visit often. We are a community who recognizes the importance of self-love and confidence in ourselves and our children. You will find techniques, meditations, freebies each week and mostly, that you are not alone. TOGETHER we will build each other up to our highest potential and shine our lights brightly.

Rate your agreement with the statement by entering:
1 = Never true
2 = Occasionally
3 = Sometimes
4 = Often
5 = Yep, that’s me!

When you make a mistake, you play it over and over again in your mind.
You don’t always voice your opinion because you feel others know more than you or may think you are foolish.
When someone gives you a compliment, you minimize it by giving credit to the dress or your clothes for making you look good.
You stay in bad relationships that have adverse effects on you, long after you know it is time to leave.
You sometimes feel you don’t deserve to be happy.
You have difficulty expressing yourself in a group of people you don’t know well.
You find it hard to say “NO” to people when face to face?
It takes you a long time to forgive yourself for things.
You feel uncomfortable asking for a raise or promotion at work.
If you do poorly at something, you feel it is because you are inadequate.
You earn a trip to Mexico for doing a great job at work. You tell people you are lucky rather than feeling pleased that you earned it.
You get nervous when you walk into a room of people by yourself.
When you meet new people you are not sure what to say.
You feel like other people are doing better than you am in life.
If you are given criticism, you respond right away to defend yourself.
You feel you need to explain the reasons for your choices to people.
You tend to be a perfectionist.
You back down during disagreements to appease the other person.
You have poor posture.
You compare yourself to others.
1 – 25 You seem to have a lot of confidence and a strong sense of self. If you ever need a boost of encouragement, please join us in the Confidence Zone at http://on.fb.me/1KvF4Kk.

26 – 45 Although you are confident, the doubts sometimes take over. Mastering your thoughts so you can make choices with confidence will make you feel better about yourself and bring you the greatest success of all; a life you love living. We welcome you into our group to gain more of what you already have and share your resources with our members in the Confidence Zone at http://on.fb.me/1KvF4Kk.

46 – 70 You are not alone. You can have a life where your heart is full of happiness because you are free from that nagging voice of doubt, fear and regret. There are reasons we develop doubts and fears and there are ways to dispel them as well. Investing the time to cultivate these skills will bring you that elusive feeling of sheer joy that comes when you know that everything is going your way! Claim the life you are meant to have by joining us now in the Confidence Zone at http://on.fb.me/1KvF4Kk.

71 – 100 Sometimes it can feel so lonely, but it doesn’t have to. It’s not your fault and you are not alone. The Confidence Zone has real solutions for real people and others who know what you are going through. You deserve so much more than being a prisoner to your thoughts of mediocrity. You have so much value and are capable of great things. Let us share what works for us and different ways that will make you more confident and excited about creating the lifestyle that you deserve and are meant to have. Meet us in the Confidence Zone at http://on.fb.me/1KvF4Kk now.

You can download a printable version of this at http://on.fb.me/1MhOeHK and join the Confidence Zone.

Gain Confidence by Getting Out Of Your Head

~Disassociation for Gaining Confidence~

Neuro linguistics, or the language of the mind, never ceases to fascinate me. We do have all the resources we need inside of us, and when you know how your mind works, you can map your way to the unlimited solutions and possibilities that lie within.

People believe in people

Being confident provides you with more opportunities because people believe in people who believe in themselves! Confidence makes you feel good too. There are many ways to become confident, yet the strategy I am going to share with you is powerful and can be used in so many different ways.

 

Nervousness and fear push confidence out. Just as turning on the light in a room causes the darkness to vanish, when we understand our less than supportive feelings, we can vanquish the fear and allow the confidence to shine brightly as well.

The reason we get nervous is that we are afraid that we will not do well, that people will laugh at us or reject our ideas and we are not sure we are capable or as capable as others are. WE TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY.

Today’s focus is on not taking it personally if you do not get the desired outcome.

Ever notice how it is easier to give others advice than to have a clear path for yourself? This happens in business and relationships. This is because we take things personally. When you do not get a desired outcome, you label it, and yourself, a failure. You cannot see that the only failure is when you don’t try and that you are always gaining and winning when you put effort towards a worthy goal.

parent-talking-to-child

Bring to mind your child. If you don’t have kids of your own, think of a niece or neighborhood child you are fond of. If that child came to you asking you for advice, you would look at the situation objectively, with no personal involvement other than wanting what is best for the little one. You would consider her situation, try to view it from all angles, come up with as many solutions as possible, find the best one, probably have a back-up plan or two to share with her, let her know that no matter what the outcome is that as long as she tries her best, she will gain valuable skills to make her better and better. This is logical thought process and without personal emotional attachment, our skills of reasoning are much more proficient.

Disassociation is brilliant in its simplicity. It works because you take yourself out of the equation, thus taking the emotion out of the equation.

1. Find a quiet spot where you can have a few minutes to yourself.

2. Bring to mind a situation that has you upset or nervous.

3. Close your eyes and imagine that situation. When you do, imagine it as if you are above the scene and looking down. See yourself as if you are watching a movie.

4. Notice what is going on as you see the situation play out in front of you, but no matter what someone says or does, or how things turn out, simply notice what is happening.

5. Now think of all the positive that is in this situation. What did you learn that you can use in the future? What possible solution could work in this situation? Explore all possibilities and assure the person in the movie you are watching (you) of all the good in the situation.

By not taking the situation personally, you will not label yourself a failure. You will instead do your best and recognize that you gained a lot. This is keep your self-esteem and confidence from eroding when things don’t seem to go your way. The more you deal with challenging situations in an effective and productive way, the more your confidence will soar.

soaring eagle 2

Teaching children to think this way is important, especially girls. In females, the amygdala, or area of the brain responsible for worrying is much more active than in males. When you introduce those interesting hormones on top of that, you have a recipe for high drama and taking everything personally. The long term damage can be staggering.

Practice this and share with your children. The best way to protect your kids is to teach them to protect themselves.

How to Build Confidence and Self-Esteem Doing Nothing

We are always looking for ways to improve ourselves, it’s just in our nature. Knowing how to build confidence is valuable because confident people will live happier, healthier more successful lives. Confidence produces an energy that supercharges our goals and our lives. We feel good when we are confident and that also bolsters our self-esteem, another valuable asset for living a fulfilling and meaningful life.

Without confidence
• You will not attempt new things that will allow you to grow
• You will feel that you have less value as a person
• You create limiting beliefs and settle for less than you deserve and can have in life
• The stress of being asked to do things you are not comfortable with will release toxins into your system and make you unhealthy
• Worry becomes an overwhelming side-effect
• Eventually you will wallow in regret for things you were too afraid to do
• You think in terms of why you can’t do things rather than how to make it happen, thus sabotaging yourself

Confidence and self-esteem are so important to the quality of your existence and I am going to tell you one of the top things you can do to gain confidence.

NOTHING.

Seriously, nothing! Most people call this nothing meditation.

Ask yourself, is it worth 30 minutes a day, (15 in the morning and 15 at night), to have a calmer, happier, more organized, satisfying and successful life where I feel better mentally physically and spiritually? And in this time all I have to do is nothing.

psychic

I don’t have to be psychic to know that most sane people will answer a resounding YES! Even some not so sane people will as well. I mean, with all the responsibilities and things on the 2 page to do list, who wouldn’t like a few minutes a day to do nothing?

There’s no shame in this game either, because you actually are doing something by doing nothing. Those who meditate on a regular basis have always reported being calmer, lower blood pressure, increased clarity and energy, and a plethora of other mental and physical benefits. Now science is backing it all up.

Neuro scientists have been studying the amygdala, the region in the brain associated with worry and regret, for decades. During their research it was discovered that regular meditation calmed the activity in this area of our brain and over an extended period those who engaged in regular meditation were able to manage stress better.

This is especially important for women since we are physically wired to be more nervous and less confident than men. We also release a lot of cortisol when we stress and worry and this makes us gain weight.

So why is it a great idea to do nothing a couple times a day and have a clear conscious about taking that time for yourself?
• Weight loss
• Calmer thoughts
• Happier overall
• Less worry and regret making room for positive, supportive thoughts
• Lower blood pressure
• Lower stress
• Healthier heart
• Better lung capacity
• More clarity
• Stronger focus
• Builds confidence
• Supports self-esteem

 

The side effects are
• Better health
• Closer spiritual connection
• Better relationships
• More successful in achieving goals
• Fulfillment of leading a meaningful life
• You just plain feel better about yourself and your life

My Purple Gift

Once you decide to give yourself this gift, you will want to start right away. I will give you the brief version of how to get started. Feel free to comment, ask questions or look for future blogs on the subject. Since it is the fastest and easiest way to gain confidence and self-esteem, I will be devoting a bit of attention to meditation and ways to deepen your meditation.

1. Pick a time of day in the morning and in the evening.
2. Select a quiet place where you will be free of distractions.
3. Wear loose, comfortable clothes.
4. If you are first starting, I recommend selecting a guided meditation. That way you can let go of all your thoughts and focus on the voice.
5. Be sure to turn off all cell phones.
6. Tell your mind before you begin that you will be meditating for 15 minutes (or the length of the meditation recording) and that everything else can wait until you are done.

If your thoughts drift away from the voice, gentle dismiss the thoughts and bring your attention back to the voice.
There is no need to listen intently to the voice, just relax and let your subconscious absorb the message.
If you have an itch that seems to be intensifying, gently scratch it and return your focus to the voice.
Relax, enjoy, get healthy, happy and shine your light bright!

Click here to listen to my Confidence Activating Meditation now.

My gift to you because I care.

Confidence vs. Self-Esteem

Many people think of confidence and self-esteem as the same thing. When we look a little closer, we will see that although they look similar, there are distinct differences between confidence and self-esteem that really do matter.

Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself, your value and your self-worth. Confidence is something you feel and emanate when you are certain you can achieve a desired outcome. Knowing the differences and learning how to grow both will give you an enormous advantage in all areas of your life. Both of these qualities seem to be lacking more in women than in men.

I Love Myself

A person with a strong self-esteem knows their strengths and appreciates them. They do not strive to be perfect, they strive to be the best they can be and know that is enough. They do not measure their worth by the way others treat them and will instead, treat themselves well. When a person has a strong self-esteem, they will be more optimistic, see opportunities and possibilities and will take on new challenges, confident that they have the ability to succeed or at the very least, learn lessons they will need to grow and advance. Self-esteem is all about how you feel about you.

People are confident in different tasks and confidence (as well as self-esteem) can be fostered.

Confidence can be developed in many ways. Preparation and practice being two key ways. When I first starting singing in a band, I would get very nervous. I had never done this before and wanted to do well, to have people like my performance. After all, who likes being told they stink? The band practiced 3 hours a night 3 nights a week. After about a year of practice and about 10 gigs, I couldn’t wait to get on stage. I loved singing and was certain that I would hit all the notes and make them sound good. I developed great confidence and was very self-assured when I would sing or play keyboards. Eventually we opened for bands like Huey Lewis and the News, Doobie Brothers, Kansas and many more. We had a crowd of almost 4,000 people for one of our shows and since I was prepared and had mastered singing the songs we played, I felt good about it.

I Can Do This

When you have strong self-esteem and feel good about yourself, you will be more confident in your ability to do well at new things. You will also be easy on yourself when you do not get the desired outcome in a project or meet a goal when you set a deadline. You will acknowledge how far you have come and set another deadline, not giving up until you reach your goal.

Both qualities are incredibly important to you well-being. And both qualities and be nurtured and developed.

Cassi Eubank

In my Facebook Group, the Confidence Zone, and here in my blog, we will discuss what confidence is, why women tend to lack in confidence, how you can become aligned with your confidence, things you can do to improve your self-esteem and confidence and give you the tools and techniques that will lead to a happier, healthier and more successful life. You will come to realize that many of your beliefs that do not make you feel good about yourself and your abilities, simply are not true. That is important because when that happens, you will be free to imprint new beliefs and use the tools provided so confidence and self-love become your way of life. And when you have these, you will feel better about yourself, your relationships, your future, your contribution to the world and you will find true success and lasting happiness.

For free meditations, articles, advice and effective ways to bolster your confidence and self-esteem and be the best you living the best life possible, join the Confidence Zone at www.Facebook.com/groups/1646338938920263